Lots of Posts

I am playing catch up again! Life is crazy and very busy. I am 31 weeks preggo, but I am guessing that I have more like 6 or 7 weeks left. I have never made it past 38 weeks so my guess is this little munchkin will be coming at the end of August instead of mid September. The girls are getting really excited to meet her, Autumn is starting to grasp that a baby is going to be coming to our home. She kissed my belly the other day and smiled. It was so sweet. Lily and Cloey are really excited to start school in about 5 weeks. This summer is going by so fast! I can't believe Lily will be gone all day and Cloey will be gone half the day. It is going to really take some getting used to to have Lily gone the entire day. I have described it as having joint custody with the school. We get her nights, weekends, and holidays from here on out. I thought kindergarten would the be hard one, but I think 1st grade is a ton harder. It makes me want to cry, but she is really excited to have lunch at school. Brian took a summer class that is now over, he went to school from 7:30-9:30am 4 days of the week. I am grateful for him and all the hard work he does for our family.
For some reason some of my posts got out of order and I don't want to figure out how to fix it! ;)

Swim Lessons

This year I put the girls into swimming lessons. They had so much fun and Autumn and I had fun watching them. I was disappointed in the teaching, they basically played games the entire two weeks and their teachers only really got their (the teachers themselves) hair wet. I taught swimming lessons for 7 years and have been swimming since I was 9 competitively. It was all I could do to just sit there and not jump in and take over. So we only did it for 2 weeks and then we put our 12 ft by 36 inch pool up and I plan on teaching the girls how to really swim. But I was proud of how much more comfortable they got in the water.

Dairy Days Parade

This year we went with some friends to the Meridian Dairy Days Parade. Wow we were not prepared! It was soooooo hot! Luckily my friend Ali had a bunch of water bottles and we had thought ahead enough to bring sunscreen. It was fun to hang with the Fields and the Edwards! We have awesome friends! The parade was fun, but there wer some obnoxious teens who kind of ruined it. Our families were good and sat very near the curb but there were some teens who continued to run up to the cars and people grabbing all the give away stuff. We got some fun stuff, and the kids were exhausted when we got home!

4th of July Weekend

We had a fun 4th of July weekend. Saturday we hung out at Jason and Angie's place for some cousin playtime and swimming at Brian's parents house (they were out of town). Brian got to try out Jason's riding lawn mower, he was super excited. He told me we needed one, I replied by telling him that he could get one when our yard was about 5 times bigger. My best friend from my middle school and high school years, Melanie Gibson (Bird) came by with her husband and new baby Savannah. It was sooooo fun to be able to visit and hang out with them. I really really wish we lived closer. It was fun to go through memories and talk about life now. It makes me feel old to think of all the things we did together, I remember thinking we would always be in high school and we would never grow up. And now look at us, wives, mothers, and old ;)!

On Monday the 4th we got together with a bunch of friends at Merril Park to play in the water feature and the park, as well as letting the men folk do some fishing. Then we headed to the Field's house to do some yummy bbqing and fireworks! The kids had so much fun playing and watching the fireworks. The boys had a lot of fun with some fireworks that were loud and might have left the ground.... it was really funny to watch all the guys going through and lighting fireworks. Cloey even lit a firework that Brian helped with and it was really cute to watch her do a mad dash as soon as she lit it. We are so blessed to live in this beautiful free country, and to have such wonderful friends!

Lily's First Lost Tooth

So about 2 Sundays ago Lily turned to me in the middle of the Sacrament being passed and whispered "Mom, look at this." And she wiggled her bottom middle tooth. I hastely whispered back to not touch it, I didn't want blood to be all over her white shirt and at church. So we worked on it that Sunday, and she was nervous. We let it be for the night, it was pretty wiggly. The next day she continued to wiggle it and also freak out everytime Brian or I tried to see how loose she had gotten it. I think it was really the thought of pain that made her nervous. Well by bedtime she had gotten to the point where it was basically laying flat. So Brian tickled her while I pulled the tooth downward and left it hanging, she freaked out, but she was laughing. She finished taking it out and we asked her if it hurt like she thought it would. She thought for a minute and said.... "nope" silly Lily! Well my mom was asleep by time we got the tooth out so we called Grandma and Grandpa Keeley, she was super excited. She got to put her tooth in a special gold tooth fairy pillow. The next morning she was so excited to find gold tooth fairy dust and a dollar as well!

Date Night!

We hang out with our friends Bryson and Heather often and usually just at our house playing board games. Brian and I basically grew up with Bryson and we think of both his wife and him as family. Bryson works almost every night except Sundays and Tuesdays so it is hard to get together and go out. We finally set an actual date up, you know you go out and do something ;). We played some frisbee golf and then hit Red Lobster for some yummy food. Lets just say I lost miserably at frisbee golf. I am the worst frisbee thrower of all time, and I am not kidding. We had so much fun and were grateful to my sister Sarah for watching our kids, she is so good with them!

One Year Down....

June 3rd Lily's kindergarten class did a little program the last day of school they sang some really cute songs and then Mrs. Lawrence handed out their certificates and popped a balloon over their head that had "magic move on dust" (glitter) in it that is supposed to help them do good in the 1st grade. It was a long year and we had a lot of fun. We are so proud of her and all that she learned and accomplished. I thought sending her off to kindergarten would be hard but I think 1st grade will be a lot harder. How I see it is like having joint custody with the school. We get her nights weekends and holidays for the rest of her life! Ahhhh! Oh well they are bound to grow up someday right?! So we will be ready for a new year, with Lily in 1st grade gone all day, Cloey will be in kindergarten half day, and Autumn and the new baby will home with me. Right now I am enjoying having them all home for the summer!

Jackson, Kylie, and Lily. I took a picture of these three cuties on the first
day of school, they are in our ward and such fun kids. I am so glad Lily has
such nice friends!

Skyler's Memorial Day

Here are some pictures of Skyler's memorial. It was so nice to go and visit and see that others have not forgotten there sweet little ones either, there were a lot of flowers for these babies. It was more emotional than I thought it would be. I can't believe that it was a year ago that I found out I was pregnant with my little boy. Time flies by so fast. Lily and Cloey are very sweet about Skyler, Lily seems to understand a lot of where he is and it is sweet to see her testimony of the gospel grow. I love my Skyler!

27 Years Young!

Yep...I turned 27 this month. Ugh I feel old, time seems to be going by so fast. Brian suprised me with flowers delivered to me during the day. I was very impressed and surprised when the doorbell rang and I had these beautiful flowers delievered to me. That morning while Lily was getting ready for school she wished me Happy Birthday a million times and kept reminding her sisters to wish me a Happy Birthday too. It was really sweet. The girls had ballet that day so when we got home that evening we had some yummy Mongolian BBQ and the girls and Brian made me a cake. They used a number 4 candle because we didn't have anything else ;)! Brian and I got to go out that Saturday to see the fourth Pirates movie and dinner at Tucanos. It was so fun and I just tried to forget about the age I had to turn for all of this love! ;)

Mothers Day

We had a quiet mothers day, Brian has meetings every Sunday morning from around 8:45-10. So I got the girls up to start eating breakfast, when Cloey got really concerned that she hadn't been able to give me breakfast in bed. It was really sweet and so I let her pour me some cereal, she was super proud of herself. Brian got home early and handed me these flowers with a note. It was a very sweet letter and I am so glad he is my husband. The flowers may seem very tiny, but they are from a bush next to the memorial where Skyler is buried. I couldn't have asked for a better boquet for Mothers Day. I am so grateful to be a mom, I love all my kids and wouldn't trade my motherhood for anything!

May Splashin!

There was one day a couple weeks ago that we actually hit 80 degrees! It has been a crazy spring with plenty of winter trying to push through. Well the girls had been really good during a long shopping trip so I filled up the kiddie pool and let them splash around while I fixed dinner. They had a lot of fun and it is so cute to watch Autumn try to be just like her sisters. Lily and Cloey kept dipping the tops of their heads in the water and Autumn tried to do it to. Her are my cute girls having some fun!

My New Memorial Day

Memorial Day this year means something more to me. I think of my son, to others he may be just a lost pregnancy, a miscarriage. To me he is so much more. He is my son, he never took a breath of the air I breathe, never held my hand, and I never got to watch him grow as little boys do. He did so much more. He lived in me, he had a heart beat, I saw it, I heard it. I saw him wiggle around on the ultrasound, I felt him live, I held his little body in my arms. I know he is somewhere else right now, and I love him. I don't think anyone can understand the loss of a child unless they have been through it. I know I didn't, I didn't understand the pain and great sense of loss that comes with such experiences. Skyler's loss was the most painful thing I have ever been through, and I mean ever. I am not bitter, I am not angry, and I don't like to wonder why, but it does still hurt. I find myself thinking about what he might be like, what kind of a baby he would be. What his personality would be like. He would be about 3 1/2 months and his mannerisms, would be starting to come out more and more. When I get asked about how many kids I have I may say 3 with another on the way, but in my head I say 4 with another on the way. I want to say the latter, but that just makes for more than the person asking wants to know. He is apart of our family, Lily in particular has a special connection to him. I feel it when she speaks of him, and it is very sweet. I can feel her love for him very strongly. I love my kids here on earth, and my son in heaven. I have been blessed so much by all of my children. Every one of them is so special to me and I can't imagine life without them, when it comes to Skyler I can't imagine eternal life without him. I am trying to live so that I can see him again, perfected and alive. The same goes for my kids here too. I want to be with my family forever, now more than ever. I never knew I how much love I could have until I had my family. When you go through anything like what I have been through, you are changed forever. You are more grateful and more trusting of Heavenly Father. I have learned more now how to turn my pain and my grief over to my Savior, it took a while, days of not wanting to get out of bed, of emotions overflowing without notice wherever I might be (the grocery store is probably the most random place for that), seeing others with their little babies and feeling that longing. The temple is where I found my peace and my solace. The first time I went after losing him, that was when I was changed from grieving mother to a mother who could function much better. It didn't change how much I miss him, but how I think about him. I am in a much healthier place now, I can speak of Skyler and not cry and revert back to that deep feeling of loss. The gospel has been a great blessing in my life and I can't imagine going through this without the knowledge of the Plan of Happiness. I know I will see my son and it will be a great day when I can have my entire family around me. Until that day, I will never forget him, my family is stronger for having him part of us, my faith is stronger, my testimony bolstered, and my Savior is a more central part of my life as well. I always thought I was close to my Savior, but now I know that we can always be closer to Him. I found this on another blog about another family who has known the same loss:

"Parents who have surrendered the sweetest and smallest flowers from the
family's garden need to remember our Heavenly Father. He has promised a
special reward to those who now suffer in silence, who spend long days and
longer nights through their trying times of breavement. Our Creator has
promised glory. He said, "For after much tribulation come the blessings.
Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour
is not yet, but nigh at hand."(D&C 58:4) That promised glory includes the blessing reunion with each child who has left the family circle to help
surving members of the family draw nearer to God. Those children still live
and are a heritage to the Lord."
-Russell M Nelson.
"I am a child of God, and He has called me home, My earthly journey's
through but still, I do not walk alone. He leads me, guides me, walks beside
be, helps me find the way. He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him
today.

I am a child of God and I have gone ahead. My earthly life was
brief but oh, such peace and love you gave. You loved me, held me, stood beside
me and though I cannot stay. You gave me much to help me and I live with him
today.
I am a Child of God and I will wait for you. Celestial Glory shall be
ours, if you can but endure. I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you. Help you
find the way. I'll welcome you with open arms, one bright Celestial day.
-Unkown

This Memorial Day I think of my son, the time I had with him, both in
pregnancy and after, holding him in my arms, my perfect little boy. I am
grateful for loving friends and family, and especially for my husband, who
understands and misses Skyler too. I couldn't imagine life without him as my
eternal companion. Skyler, I love you and miss you. You will always be a
part of our family, with lots of sisters who love you too. With a mom
and dad who cherish those precious moments we had with you.

Miss Post A Lot!

So it has been a very very long time since I posted and I am catching up on what our family has been up to the last little bit. So enjoy my many posts and I hope all of you are doing well! Life is busy and crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way, it means I am alive, that my family has things to do and that we are growing together stronger every day!

Easter Weekend

We had a fun Easter weekend. We started out on Saturday morning at Franze Witte Nursrey for an easter egg hunt with our friends the Edwards and the Fields. We all split up with our kids in different age groups, I took the older kids and Brian took Autumn and the we met up after to look at the loot. Autumn totally made bank, Brian said that while the kids in her age group were kind of walking and looking around that she was a machine just gathering up the eggs completely focused. Lily and Cloey thought they had a lot until they saw how much Autumn's stash. It was pretty funny. They had fun running through the pink flamingos and around the pond. All the dad's were in charge, so they had a lot of fun. Later in the day Brian's parents came to give the girls easter baskets full of goodies, they had a lot of fun blowing bubbles with Grandma. I love Easter and the opportunity to enjoy family and most importantly teaching the kids about our Savior and His beautiful love, life, sacrifice, and His ressurrection. I am so grateful that because of His life, death, and ressurrection I can have my family FOREVER!

Is it too much to ask for a cute happy picture.....

Yep!

Time for an egg hunt:

Ready, set, go!

And they had fun!